Hi Yall?

Come on in and set awhile, we ain't doin' nuthin' sept shelling peas
and talkin. Grab a handful of blackeyes and start shellin', but don't
drop none of the shells on the flo', I jus swept!

That crotchaty ol woman in the rocker is Aunt Evelyn, she ain't near
as mean as she looks. She's kinda purdy, don't ya think?

That's Cussin Tiny over there, she and Bob live in Floridee and she is a nurse
or sumthing like that, Bob ain't quite rite. You know, he retired and then
went back to werk.
I think he wuz tied to a post a lot while he wuz a youngun.

That thar littl' mommer sattin thar is Bob and Tiny's daughter, Kim.
She jus got herself a brand new
baby gull, Amanda Lee Stitzer, yo sho better be real careful
how ya says they last name!

They utter daughter is married to a sailor and dey lives summers else

That's Evelyn's brother Sonny an' his wif' SueLane settin' on the couch,
dey live in Mungumry, and are both retired. Dey got two youngn's, Scott
and Stephen, but dey is summers else today.

Dem two over thar is my sister Lynn and her husband Bobby dey REALLY
live in the cuntry summers up in north Alabama. Dey got too many kids
to name 'em all.........so dey call them by numbers.

Dem two funny lookin' boys over thar is me and Evelyn's youngun's,
Robert, we call him Rat, is a preacher and his wife Pam is a speech
and hearin' theropist. We don't 'zakly know what da is, but she talks
a lot and hears reel good. Their younguns, Junior an Noah, is out back
playin' in the chickin yard. They'r problee barfooted, so we'll have
to clean out 'tween their toes again. Ya know, boys sho' do know
how to git dirty.

Our youngest, Ken, we call him Duphus, is the dumb lookin one settin'
in the corner pickin' his nose.
Now that purdy lil redheaded gal with him is his bride, Lisa.
She's a yankee and talks real funny.
I don't think she's very brite neither, ya know she marred Doupuus.
Douphus says dat he werks on sattilites and computers and sech,
but I think he jus werks at a car wash.
His kids, Jessie and Bubba are out front pickin the
ticks off'en the dawg, I hope they ain't eatin' 'em again, last time
it made 'em sicker 'n da dawg wuz after he drank Evelyn's dirty dish water.
Liser's kids, Nate, Matthew, and Sara, live wit dem in Denver,
but dey is out back rite now playin in da ditch

Well, ya wanta walk outback wit me?
I gotta feed da chickins an' draw sum water fer da youngun's bath.
Shoot, I mite as well drap by the shed and take a little nip.
You know, fer medicinal purposes only (smile).

Don't let da doe slam, it upsets Evelyn sumthin terrible